Part of the purpose of this website is to peel off the mask. We try to be real on this blog. That means that sometimes you see our good, and often you see our bad. You can get a mirror into our struggles, and those days when things don’t go just right. Our prayer is that you will see how God is working in our life, identify with it, rejoice with us and in the meantime, maybe God will work in your life too. Well, in light of the idea of being real, I want to tell you a true story. It is entirely true, and quite honestly a little embarrassing, but I do hope you get a laugh out of it.
A few months ago, we had the privilege of going to Hawaii, and boy were we excited!!! We were going by frequent flyer miles, coupons, discounts and me doing one of the things I do best, being a cheapskate. Since the flight was a frequent flyer flight, we didn’t get a lot of choice in the route. So, we were leaving KC around 4 in the afternoon and flying to Seattle, from Seattle we were flying to Las Vegas, and then taking the Red Eye to Honolulu to arrive around 6 am. It was going to be a hard flight, but Hawaii would be worth it.
Truth be told, I was kind of looking forward to flying. I had been going crazy with work stuff, and the idea of just sitting, with my phone off was very appealing. I had in mind nibbling on a snack, enjoying a drink, reading a book and just relaxing on the flight. Plus, at the end, we would be in Hawaii!!! I could hardly wait.
We grabbed some fast food on the way to the airport, got our tickets and boarding passes all lined out and enjoyed our chicken sandwiches. Soon, it was time to go through security. Well, since our kids don’t look like us, I like to carry passports for identification, just in case, plus with all the security stuff at the airport, it just made sense. So, I had some extra cash and the passports in a money belt under my pants. Usually, I get held up by something in security. This time, I had thought it all figured out. I had my belt in my carry on, only 1 set of keys, and no change. This should be a piece of cake. That is, until I went through the scanner. Something showed up on the scanner!!! I was asked what was around my waist. I explained that I had our passports, to which the TSA agent responded that he would need to see what it was. I must have stood there and just stared, because he stared back. “Do we need a private room.” Strange question, if you ask me. I didn’t want a private room. I wanted him to understand that these were simply passports and for us to move on. I had no desire to do anything but get onto that airplane. Finally, I responded, “UH, unless you want me to drop trou right here, we probably need a private room.”
I was escorted off to a side room with 2 TSA agents. I dropped my slacks enough to show them the money belt with the passports. “I’m sorry, but I have to examine them to verify what they are.” Something seemed so wrong here, but what is a guy to do. I wanted to get on that plane. I unzipped the money belts and handed him the passports, He peeked in the money belts, satisfied that nothing in the money belt would be disastrous to the plane, and let me pull my pants back up. So much for easy security. But, now I was home free. In an hour my phone would be off, and I would be relaxing, on my way to Hawaii.
We soon boarded the plane and got all settled. I was enjoying the view of twilight from the window of the plane, alternating between reading my book and looking out the window. I held Christy’s hand and enjoyed not having my phone near me. After a while, something started to feel wrong. I am not sure what it was, maybe it was the chicken sandwich, maybe it was the bug that was going around church a week earlier, but something wasn’t right. I felt strange. My stomach started to hurt, and then my forehead broke out in a sweat. I turned to my dear wife and told her I would be right back. I went to what they call a restroom on an airplane. If you know me, you know I am not a small guy. I stand at 6 feet tall, and nothing about me is small, at all. So I cram myself into this little bathroom, and crouch down in front of the toilet. I feared dinner was on its way back up. Just as I was reaching that point where I was going to lose my lunch, I coughed. Let’s just say, when I did, I realized that I had the wrong end facing the toilet!!!!sometimes it looks like you've got it all together, but everything has gone SO wrong! Click To Tweet
Now, here I am with an upset stomach, and I needed to get out of my underwear, all in a bathroom the size of a small closet. I stood up and managed to turn around and take a seat. I finagled my way out of my now soiled underwear and threw them away. My stomach still wasn’t right, but was beginning to settle down. As I was sitting there, trying to figure out what to do next, I hear a ding! The light telling me to please return to my seat immediately had just come on. At this point, nearly all of my dignity is gone. Here I am on the plane, having to drop trou for the TSA, having an accident, an upset stomach, and now Federal Law says I have to return to my seat. I am trying to figure out what next. What if I get an upset stomach again? What to do? I look at a little drawer that says, “feminine products and toilet covers inside.” That’s when my next bright idea came to me. I opened the drawer and pulled out an Always pad. I put the Always pad in my slacks, just in case. It was the best I could do.
I finish up and go back to my set, no underwear, but now with an Always pad. Fortunately, I didn’t have any more problems, but the relaxing flight from Kansas City to Honolulu, the sitting back and reading, dozing, enjoying life, well, that pretty much all got lost, as did my dignity.you never know...someone might be wearing Always instead of underwear Click To Tweet
ON the flip side, other than the plane ride over, the trip was wonderful, and we made a ton of memories. I did tell the family all that happened once we got there. We still get a good laugh out of my predicament. I guess maybe my kids can learn that, it might look like you have it all together when in fact you had to drop trou to a stranger, lose your underwear and wear an Always pad. Regardless of how things look, you never know what somebody may be going through.
Note from Christy: I had NO idea what had gone on in the bathroom until we had landed in Hawaii.