Expectations.  Probably one of the worst enemies to a relationship. We expect this a certain way, or that a certain way.  Maybe because of the way we were raised, or because of what we’ve seen on t.v. or seen in others.  Or maybe because we know it can be better and different.

Expecting things a certain way can bring disappointment Click To Tweet

Expecting things can bring disappointment.  Even things that we should be able to except.  I should be able to expect that Shane will leave the toilet seat down every night. But, there are some nights, albeit very few nights in our married life that the toilet seat is left up and I fall in…no not really, I’ve gotten pretty good at double checking if I get up in the night, because there are very few things that feel worse than…well, if you’re a girl,  you know, and if you’re a guy, trust us girls, it’s not fun.

We should expect that our car start every time we go to leave; but let’s face it, sometimes it doesn’t happen.

You should expect your husband to not take the wrong bag of books back to the library.  The bag that has the really expensive book that you bought at the Festival of Faith and Writing Conference,  because he should know, right?  You should expect that he look at the books before he put them in the dropbox and make sure they’re all library books right?  You should expect that you’ll have said book for a drive to the last track meet of the season 2 hours away right?

embracing the body

Well, no, you shouldn’t.  But I did.  And let’s just say that morning, most of that afternoon and


bits of the next day, and the next day were not very pretty.

Should I have been able to expect that my books would be right where I left them?  Truthfully, yes, I should have.  But when they weren’t I should NOT have committed all out war on the one that, in an effort to serve, served too well.  Did I have a right to be angry?  By human standards, I did.  But, we aren’t to live by human standards are we?  We are to live by Jesus standards.  And Jesus was beaten, bruised, and died for our sins, not His own.

relationships are more important than books #expectations Click To Tweet

When it comes down to it, the book was a thing.  The relationship was more important than the book.  But in my stupidity, I couldn’t get past what Shane “had done to me”  But that’s not true.  He didn’t do anything to me.  He did something dumb, but the truth is, we were both at fault.  I left the bag of my books near the books that were to go back to the library.  He didn’t check with me, and honestly shouldn’t have needed to check with me. He made a dumb mistake, but my reaction was what took it on the spiral down.

He made a mistake.  I sinned.

relationship > book

Taking of the mask,


Despite my ugly behavior, the story has a happy ending. After several phone calls, and a trip to the branch where the book was dropped off the week before, the book was found.


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