I, Christy, was not raised in a Christ centered home. My parents divorced when I was in 6th grade.  And in case you’re wondering, Shane will be back.  I haven’t hidden him in the basement, or tied him up.  He’s been busy with work and other commitments.

I had a little book with a schoolhouse on it, That book had an envelope for my report card, and a place for me to list my hobbies and my list of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

There might be other things listed, but always Mom

As I got older, I wanted to be married. In fact, I wanted to be married so badly that I was looking EVERYWHERE. I’d go out with someone ONE time and wonder…

“He might be the one!” “Is he the one?” And I’d imagine the happily ever after.  Or maybe I should say, happily ever afters, because looking back, I can say with fair certainty that with that mindset, not one of them would have been the ONE. Had any of them become the “one” he probably would have been one of several “the ones”

happily ever after

It was so bad that I heard through the grapevine that someone who declined the invitation to mine and Shane’s wedding, made the statement that they’d just come to the next one.

Yep! That bad.

But that person didn’t know about the change God had made in me, or about the man I was marrying. They had seen what I had drug through the door in the past, and truth be told, I don’t blame them one bit for saying it, if they did in fact say it; I  probably would have said the same thing about myself.

I had no idea at the time, when each of the heartaches came, that by keeping me from marriage to many wrong ones, He was saving me for the right one.

I don’t think much has changed. A lot of girls today still dream of the wedding without much thought to the marriage.  A lot of money is spent on the wedding, with little thought to the marriage. These girls get caught up in the ooey-gooey love/lust, just like I did many years ago. Only now there is very little shame.  It’s just the way things are these days.

I was looking through Brides magazines. Dreaming about the wedding, with little to no thought about the man I’d marry or the marriage.

wedding dress 1

Deep down I knew I wanted different than I had growing up. I didn’t want my kids to have toothbrushes in two homes. I wanted the cute little house with the white picket fence.  I wanted life long love, but I had no idea how to go about getting it.

Thankfully, even back then, God heard my heart, even before I knew Him.

He called me at 25. He sent my husband at 28. We married at 29.

Shane had just turned 20 when we married. He understood so much more than I did about what it took to make a marriage work.

He had a heritage of marriage with his parents and grandparents that I did not have. He knew divorce was NOT an option.

Even after we were married, I had very little knowledge of HOW to make it work. I was selfish, and self-centered. The marriage was all about making ME happy. Afterall, isn’t that what marriage is all about? Making “me” happy?

Thankfully, God has grown me some over the past 21 years. There is still a lot of room for improvement, but I am learning about Christ’s self sacrificing, patient, kind, not easily offended true love. Loving as Christ does IS true love.

Shane knew love was more than ooey, gooey feely butterflies. He KNEW there’d be hard times to stick through. To LOVE through. He knew it’d take the kind of love that Christ showed us to live together for the rest of our lives.

Shane was unlike any other man I had dated, or considered dating. Yes, even at a Christian college.

Because of that fact, and because God is a gracious and merciful God, I have a fabulous marriage with a fabulous man and a wonderful family.

Mind you, I didn’t say PERFECT! I sad fabulous, and there’s a huge difference!

But I know that no matter WHAT comes our way, we will be together…



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